Black Agnes

"Of Scotland's King I haud my house, I pay him meat and fee, And I will keep my gude auld house, while my house will keep me."

Agnes Randolph, Countess of Dunbar and March (c. 1312–1369), known as Black Agnes for her dark hair and olive complexion (a rarity in Scotland), was the wife of Patrick, 9th Earl of Dunbar and March. She was also the great-niece of Robert the Bruce – famous for his victory in the Scottish Wars of Independence.

The English attacked Dunbar Castle on 13 January 1338, when the Earl of Dunbar was away, assuming that the castle would be defenceless in his absence. However, they didn’t count on the fact that he was married to one of the most badass women in Scotland. Lady Dunbar, Black Agnes, refused to surrender despite being surrounded by 20,000 English troops while she was left with merely a few guards and servants. It was not unheard of for women were known to run (and defend if necessary) castles in their husbands’ absences. However, Black Agnes’ defence remains one of the most heroic examples of this in Scottish history.

The English commander, Salisbury, was known as a particularly skilled and ferocious military leader but apparently was no match against Lady Dunbar. His first attempt at taking the castle was catapulting huge rocks and lead against the ramparts. In return, Agnes mocked him by sending her maid servants to “dust off” the damage with their handkerchiefs, laughing in the English’s faces as they did.  

The English’s second port of call was their enormous siege tower called a sow. They attempted to use this to storm the castle, but the countess simply advised Salisbury that he should "take good care of his sow, for she would soon cast her pigs, meaning his men, within the fortress." She then ordered that one of the boulders the English had earlier hurled at the castle be thrown down from the battlements, completely destroying the sow.   

Salisbury soon realised that he had underestimated his female opponent. When one of the Scottish archers struck an English soldier standing next to Salisbury, the earl cried out, "There comes one of my lady's tire pins; Agnes's love shafts go straight to the heart."

Unable to fight his way into the castle, he turned to more subtle forms of espionage. He bribed the Scottish guard at the principal entrance to leave the gate unlocked so the English could enter. The guard took the money, and then promptly reported Salisbury’s plan to Agnes so that she could prepare for the intrusion. Salisbury lead his troops into the castle as arranged, but one of his men pushed past him just at the moment when Agnes's men lowered the portcullis, separating him from the others. Agnes, of course, had meant to trap Salisbury, but she used this as an opportunity to mock Salisbury, shouting: " Farewell, Montague, I intended that you should have supped with us, and assist us in defending the Castle against the English."

Salisbury’s next desperate attempt was to threaten the execution of Agnes’ brother John Randolph, Earl of Moray, who had been an English prisoner for some time. This backfired, as Agnes retorted that she was quite happy for him to be killed as it paved the way for her own inheritance of the estate. While this was not true, in calling Salisbury’s bluff, she disarmed her opponents of their ransom charm. Her brother’s life was saved because the English did not want to kill one of their most important bargaining chips so whether she was bluffing or really wanted her brother gone, his life was spared.

As his last resort, Salisbury decided to go with the traditional siege tactic of waiting for the inhabitants to starve. However, an entrance from the sea behind the castle allowed them to receive provisions without English knowledge, and it is said that eventually Agnes sent out some bread and wine to Salisbury, showing him that their siege had been for nothing. Later,  Ramsay of Dalhousie, an age-old tormentor of the English, sent forty men to the castle via boat. They entered from a postern next to the sea. Charging out of the castle, the Scotsmen surprised Salisbury's advance guard and pushed them all the way back to their camp.

Five months had passed since the English had come to Dunbar. Salisbury admitted defeat and lifted the siege on 10 June 1338. The failure had cost the English crown nearly £6,000 and they had gained nothing in return. For centuries afterwards, Agnes's defence of Dunbar Castle caught the attention of contemporary chroniclers and Scottish historians due to her bravery and might. Agnes is far removed from the “damsel in distress” most people associate with medieval noblewomen who lay around in a turret waiting for a fair knight to save them. Rather, this noblewoman alone was able to defeat one of the most accomplished military men of her time, and defeat a vastly superior force of men. Literal girl power right there.