Mary Boleyn

Mary Boleyn (c. 1499/1500 – 1543), is most famously known as “The Other Boleyn Girl”. She was sister of Queen Anne Boleyn, and one of the mistresses of Henry VIII.  

Mary grew up at Hever Castle, Kent (one of my favourite places, FYI). Her family were wealthy – her father was the diplomat and courtier, Thomas Boleyn, Earl of Whiltshire, and her mother was the eldest daughter of Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk.

Mary’s exact date of birth is unknown, but it is generally agreed that she was the eldest of the three surviving Boleyn children. During her early years, it is most likely that Mary was educated alongside her brother George, and her sister, Anne at Hever Castle in Kent. She was given a conventional education deemed essential for young ladies of her rank and status, which included the basic principles of arithmetic, grammar, history, reading, spelling, and writing – as well as “feminine accomplishments” such as embroidery, etiquette, household management, music, needlework, and singing. She was also taught games such as chess and physical skills like archery, riding, and hunting.

In 1514, at the age of fifteen, Mary was sent to Paris as a maid to the King’s Sister, Mary, on her marriage to King Louis XII of France. While her fellow maids returned to England, her father’s new position as French Ambassador allowed Mary to remain at the French Court. Even after Queen Mary’s departure from France following the death of her husband in 1515, Mary Boleyn stayed at the court, working for the new Queen Claude.

Mary was joined in Paris by her father and her sister who had been studying in France for the previous year. During this time Mary gained a notoriety for promiscuity and is said to have a number of sexual liasons, including one with King Francis himself. Although most historians now believe that her exploits have been exaggerated, the French king referred to her as "The English Mare" and "a very great whore, the most infamous of all").

She returned to England in 1519, where she was appointed a maid-of-honour to Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII’s first wife. As she had been at the French court, Mary became renowned for her beauty. Shortly after returning, she married William Carey, a wealthy and influential courtier. Henry was a guest at their wedding in 1520, but soon took a fancy to Mary and made her his own mistress. It is not known for how long their affair lasted. It was rumoured that one or both of Mary's children were fathered by the King, however there is no existing evidence to prove this.

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Mary’s sister Anne returned to court two years later, also attaining a position as Catherine’s maid. She soon became a wellknown figure at court, however she was never particularly close to her sister, who had already established her own circle at court.

Although Mary was said to have been more beautiful than her sister, Anne appears to have been cleverer and more ambitious. When the King set his sights on her, Anne refused to be taken as a mistress and demanded that he made her his wife. Perhaps Anne had learnt a lot from seeing her sister so casually tossed aside by the King (perhaps with two illegitimate children to care for) and wished to avoid the same fate. By 1526, Henry had decided to divorce his wife in order to marry Anne. His case for annulment centred on the grounds that he had unlawfully married his brother’s wife. However, this argument left him open to similar accusations in marrying Anne, owing to his previous relations with her sister. In 1527, during his initial attempts to obtain a papal annulment of his marriage to Catherine, Henry also requested a dispensation to marry Anne, the sister of his former mistress. As we know, Henry soon decided that he did not need the Pope’s permission on either count, and married Anne anyway.

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"I had rather beg my bread with him than to be the greatest queen in Christendom. And I believe verily ... he would not forsake me to be a king".

When Mary's husband died of sweating sickness, Henry granted Anne Boleyn the wardship of her nephew, Henry Carey. Mary was left with her husband’s considerable debts, so Anne arranged for Henry to be educated at a repututable monastery. She also secured her sister a widow’s pension of £100p/a. In 1532, Mary served as one of Anne’s companions on a state visit to France alongside Henry. Anne was crowned queen a year later.

In 1534, Mary secretly married an Essex landowner's younger son: William Stafford (later Sir William Stafford). Since Stafford was a soldier, his prospects as a second son were low. He also had little wealth to support them. Their marriage was discovered when Mary fell pregnant. Queen Anne and the rest of the family were furious that Mary had lowered herself with such a marriage. Mary was disowned by the Boleyn’s, and she and her husband were banished from court.

Mary's finances became so desperate that she was reduced to begging the king's adviser, Thomas Cromwell, to intercede with the King and Queen on her behalf.  She conceded that she might have chosen "a greater man of birth" but never one that should have loved her so well, nor a more honest man. The King, her father, her uncle, and brother, were all unmoved by her plight. However, eventually her sister Anne relented and sent some money her way. However, she never permitted Mary to return to court and they never met again.

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Little is known about Marys life following her banishment from court. It is unlikely that she had any contact with her brother or sister before they were executed for treason, adultery, and incest in 1536. Mary died of unknown causes in 1543

I always felt bad for Mary – slut-shamed, used and abused by the king, widowed, cast aside to languish in her sister’s shadow and die penniless despite her grand start in life. However, looking at the fate of her brother and sister, perhaps Mary can actually be considered the most successful Boleyn. Her family’s pursuit of power and wealth ultimately led to their downfall. Mary, on the other hand, valued love over money, and was content to lead a life of obscurity with the man she adored, until her (presumably) natural demise. Perhaps then, she is the Boleyn least deserving of our pity as despite being the “pretty but dumb” sister, she outlived the family who had so cruelly turned their backs on her out of pride.

(PS, FUN FACT: this portrait of Mary now sits in Holyrood Palace in Edinburgh. It is part of the Royal Collection, and was only just identified as Mary Boleyn this year)